What makes a man a father or not? by Zara Day

What makes a man a father or not?

Is it giving, seeing, or hugging a lot?

Is it teaching lessons that need to be taught?

Is it being there to raise the child he brought?

Is it punishing when bad deeds have been caught?

Is it praising them when their goals have been sought?

Is it comforting when their dreams fall apart?

What makes a man a father or not?

Was my parent a father or not?

Did he give me, see me, or hug me enough?

Were the lessons he taught me nothing but fluff?

Was the way he raised me excessively tough?

Were punishments too emotionally rough?

Did he encourage my goals, or did he snuff?

Did he bother to comfort, or did he huff?

Was my parent a father or not?

And as I wonder these things aloud,

I question what fatherhood is about.

Would I be me if he wasn't like that?

Did he form me, or is my style just 'nat?'

I love him, but if I am honest,

The parent who raised me wasn't a father

Answer for what makes a man a father:

Trying to do right by his daughter.

Author's Note

This is an older poem I wrote back in 2020, back when I ran a Facebook page called BYOP (Bring your own poetry). I wanted to upload it again because, unlike a lot of those earlier poems, this one meant a lot to me, and I think it deserves to be preserved on my website rather than just my hard drive. I made minor changes to have it be up to my contemporary standards for poems, but its message is the same.